Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
