Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize