using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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