the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
