Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize