Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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