after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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