I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
