I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
