clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
