i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
