I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
no you cant smoke seaweed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
