I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
