$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
