Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
