well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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