So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
