I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
