No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
