and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
