It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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