who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
