Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
