He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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