So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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