Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
