Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
