Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
