i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
