someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
