Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
