Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
