just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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