Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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