I wish you could order shots online.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize