Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
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I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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