I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
