Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize