dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i think my cat just said my name.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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