His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize