How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
