the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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