I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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