Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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