God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
