i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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