My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
