I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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