Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
