how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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