Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
