I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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