I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think people are normalizing furries
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
