wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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