I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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