I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Someone shit on the floor
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
