She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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