im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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