I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
