I wanna passion pit in your ass
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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