ugly people sure do ruin things
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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