Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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